Drink Piece – Daredevil


Look, all of us have situations where you just can’t muster up the enthusiasm for something you’re supposed to do. Perhaps you do a half-assed job cleaning and only deign to vacuum the visible floor, leaving dust, detritus, and the rice of a dozen different culture’s delivery food under your coffee table. Perhaps you name your child John or Susan and think that’s good enough. Perhaps you spend your day at work writing about bad movies and drinks for your website instead of doing what you are ostensibly paid to be doing. The point is, sometimes people just don’t care.

It seems possible that the creative team behind 2003’s Daredevil just didn’t care either! Despite the movie’s poor reputation, there’s nothing egregiously wrong with this take on the mythos. Ben Affleck is fine. Jennifer Garner is fine. Michael Clarke Duncan is fine. (Colin Farrell, however, is phenomenal. An entire essay could easily be written on his performance, the only thing that injects any sort of levity and excitement into this 133 minute mediocrity. Maybe someone will write such an essay! It probably won’t be me, though, because I don’t really care to.) The script manages to defy overwhelming odds and be a movie script, one that lives up to the Bard’s immortal words, “Neither a snoozefest nor a thrill ride be.” I would go so far as to say that there was probably even a director attached to this [citation needed]. That being said, there’s nothing you can gain from watching Daredevil that you wouldn’t get from watching the music video for Evanescence’s “Bring Me to Life” for two hours instead.

Dear Reader, my apathy should be tangible at this point. But that’s okay! These things happen! It’s possible that a movie may neither prompt you to leap up and down on your roommate’s bed with unbridled joy while she is at work nor drive you to fruitlessly attempt to pull out your thick, luxurious mane of burnt hazelnut hair in consternation. Sometimes this will carry over to your themed drink. Sometimes you will try and try to come up with something clever and jokey and eventually just stop because you’d rather alphabetize your collection of cast recordings instead. Sometimes you end up with a drink called a Stupid Seesaw Fight.

A Stupid Seesaw Fight consists of spiced rum, hard cider, Fireball whiskey, and a cinnamon stick garnish. I think maybe we were trying to go with some outstandingly clever devil / spicy cinnamon drink thing here? I’m not totally sure, but I’m certainly willing to make that claim after the fact. I do, however, remember this drink considerably more than I remember the movie. Needless to say, if you’re some sort of cinnamon aficionado you’ll enjoy this. I think it’s better suited for an autumn evening than the breezy spring day we watched this on back in March of 2105, but I have very strict arbitrary rules about everything so what do I know. We also bucked tradition by including a themed snack of pita chips topped with melted herb cheddar dubbed Elektra Natchios Nachos. That pun on a character’s Greek heritage was as clever as we got that night.

Anyhow, whip this up if it seems like your thing. Daredevil… you can take or leave. It is neither as bad as it was made out to be, nor is it some overlooked Punisher: War Zone. You probably won’t hate yourself after watching it, but you shouldn’t expect to be consistently amused for the fairly lengthy runtime. It is worth pointing out that the Director’s Cut is a stronger movie (though “stronger” is a relative term in this case), and as it is the only version that has been released on Blu-ray to this point, you’re better off seeing that edit accordingly. That cut also reinstates Coolio to his rightful place in the Marvel film canon, and I guess that’s the most interesting thing I can give you.

And so as Chris observed, “This scene is dumb. This movie is dumb.”

– Brendan

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