Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, and the Why Watch crew is not very thankful for one of their dumber duller movies, 2005’s looser-than-your-holiday-dinner-pants adaptation of the DC property Constantine starring Keanu Reeves. Why are Tilda Swinton and Peter Stormare the only magnetic presences? What’s a half-breed angel or demon, and how could they exist in the first place if angels or demons can’t come to Earth and bone a human? What is the villain’s plan exactly and why does it take over an hour to complete? We don’t know but we’ll also rework this dumb, dumb, dumb movie into something that would actually merit you focusing your eyeballs at it for over two hours. Also our cocktail is very intense and bitter and spicy and Leigh doesn’t really like it. Oh well. Help us to ascend to a better life by rating us on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher, liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and visiting our website at dratpack.com. Woe!
No, it’s not about adaptations. What a premature call THAT one was! Instead, we’re talking about weaknesses. Be it a guilty pleasure or a kick to the crotch, we all have our weak spots, and movies are no exception. In this mini episode, the Why Watch crew gathers to talk about what one thing will make them interested in a movie despite all other warning flags. As usual, there’s also the reveal of our post-Halloween horror-ish movie for November and the drink that will accompany it and a lot of banter and stuff! Submit to our joint weakness, the need for validation, and rate us on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast!
Our annual Halloween spooktacular is back, and this time it’s featuring Dark Shadows! Ha ha, no, not the sequel to last month’s The Shadow, but a 2012 Tim Burton movie based off a gothic 60s soap opera you probably don’t have much reason to remember. There’s a whole bunch of Burton’s usual gimmicks on display here, be they the washed-out colors, the Danny Elfman score, or the very talented and very wasted actors (and also Johnny Depp). All this gets covered along with some tasty alcoholic punch before we all suggest ways to shape Dark Shadows into a movie that’s better than “passably watchable at points.” In lieu of trick or treats, you can like us on Facebook at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and rate us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
This mini, the crew imprisons a spirit they found lurking in their apartment, magically binds it to the table of their game room, and uses the latest scientific techniques to determine what, in fact, makes it tick. Or something like that. Actually, it’s a lot of talk about what makes a movie scary to them, but really, it’s the same basic idea. As always, there’s plenty of drat chat about jump scares, atmosphere, and petit four dishes. Oh, and also a liquor-drenched punch for the upcoming Halloween spooktacular episode! BLEH!!! As always, like on facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, rate on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, and prep your eyeballs for our retro-candy-colored-but-desaturated episode to follow.
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows! And who remembers that weird time in the ’90s when a bunch of studios made unsuccessful movies based on old-time pulp heroes? The Shadow remembers! And who can take this weirdly incoherent character sketch of a movie and reshape it into something worth watching? Well, hopefully Leigh, Brendan, Chris and returning guest Michael Messina can, because that Shadow guy just keeps laughing at us. Also, we make a CRAZY drink with edible luster dust and dry ice and BOY is it wild. Anyway, you can learn what evil lurks in the hearts of the Why Watch crew by liking us on Facebook at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and rating us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
For this mini, your pals at Why Watch decide to do something a little different. Each of them chooses a movie they wish had a sequel but never got one and pitches an idea for a sequel to it. Brendan tackles a dark animated movie from his childhood, Leigh continues an 80s sci-fi romance, and Chris of course posits a sequel to an over-the-top martial arts / historical drama / horror movie mess. All these free ideas for Hollywood, the next movie they’ll tackle, AND a drink recipe too? Sure, why not! As always, give likes at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, ratings on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, and return in two weeks for our Halloween warm-up movie!
What do you get when you take a horny stupid jock boy and have him switch bodies with an uptight anal-retentive nerd girl? Did you guess It’s a Boy Girl Thing, a “hilarious” take on gender roles that felt already years out of date by the time it was released that also featured Sharon Osbourne as an American mom, an endless series of sex jokes, and the song Candle in the Wind on endless repeat? No. Of course you didn’t. How could you? Listen to the Why Watch crew discuss these issues over two drinks and then offer up some body-swapped fixes of their own. You can avoid being a dumb jock by finding / rating our podcast on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher, liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, or visiting our website at dratpack.com.
Are you adequately prepared for some sizzlin’ hot takes??? Hey, wait, where are you going? Look, we went through the trouble of defining the parameters and writing things down so please listen. This mini episode sees the Drat Pack tackling critically-acclaimed movies that they just don’t care about- not that they’re BAD or anything, but they just don’t do anything for us! We also do a brief thing about Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, so look forward to that one being an episode someday, and introduce the gender-swap-boner-joke teen comedy we’ll be doing next time. As always, validate us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or rate us kindly us on iTunes or Stitcher.
What do you get when you take a studio desperate to reclaim its place at the top of the animated movie food chain and sell it on a pitch for a more grown-up action movie? Well, you get The Black Cauldron, or maybe Treasure Planet, or also possibly parts of Dinosaur, but in this specific case you end up with Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Join two-thirds of the Why Watch crew and their special auxiliary member Brendan as they try to figure out what the rules of the Atlantean crystal are, how successfully Mike Mignola’s style translated to an animated movie, why Mrs. Packard is the greatest Disney character of the 2000s, and then make a slightly better version of this movie. As always, take the dive with us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and rate us on iTunes and Stitcher.
The crew is, for a brief time, all together this week, and we decide to spend the time chatting about our favorite sequences from film and TV alike. Join us as Leigh remembers how to podcast again and Chris and Brendan threaten to derail the entire discussion with talk of sexuality research and favored San Francisco haunts, then prepare for a DEEP DIVE into Disney when we reveal our next movie. As always, please rate us on iTunes or Stitcher and find us at dratpack.com or facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
Let us tell you about our day so far. A themed cocktail in Boston, sat through the 2008 Doug Liman movie Jumper, took a little nap about thirty minutes in because it was a real snooze. Oh, yeah, we got our special guest Meghan Coyne to join us from Portland. And then we jumped back to discuss the poorly-realized universe and rules of the movie, the stunning lack of chemistry between the two leads, and if we’d bone Hayden Christensen. We came up with some ideas as to how we’d make this into a watchable movie, and all that was before lunch. We could go on, but all we’re saying is, we’re standing on top of the world. Jump with us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and by rating us on iTunes and Stitcher!
No, but not the movie Home Alone. Look, life comes at you fast, and sometimes you end up having to record a mini episode where no one is actually available. So really, there’s nothing much to this one. It’s summer! We were all very excited and had a lot of difficulty scheduling! So anyway, here’s just Brendan letting you all know what the next movie and drink is. It’s like two minutes long, so there’s very little time commitment on your part. We’ll be back with an actual episode in two weeks! We promise!
Long ago, in the early year of 1978, the animator Ralph Bakshi forged a questionable adaptation of maybe 50% of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. The fellowship of the Why Watch join forces with special guest Faith Johnson to analyze the problems of this dull and poorly-conceived semi-animated misfire. Is there actually a way someone could condense Tolkien’s three dense volumes into two movies? The crew will certainly try to! Curl up with a delicious Mead of Moria and join our quest at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and rate us on iTunes and Stitcher.
Look, it’s an entire episode of Brendan’s favorite segment, Looking to Score! Leigh, Brendan, and Chris gather together to discuss their favorite film scores, composers, the use of themes and leitmotifs, and sometimes even video game music because when YOU have your own podcast, you can discuss what YOU want. Also there’s a drink recipe for our next movie, a feature about a certain ring and the lord of said object! What could that be??? As always, please rate us on iTunes or Stitcher and find us at dratpack.com or facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
HEADS UP: Apologies in advance for the audio problems due to our remote recording- we’ll explain in the episode, but enjoy a belated Star Wars Day (or The Force Aw8ens or whatever) with our Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones discussion! Leigh, Brendan, Chris, and Brendan sit down with a bloody sandy drink to discuss what specifically makes Anakin a bad character, what is Count Dooku’s purpose / motivation in this movie, and if the prequels were simply destined to be difficult based solely on the stories they had to tell. Also we don’t really mention Jar Jar at all, so you can be assured that we have bigger gooberfish to fry here. And you need not scramble code five to Coruscant care of the old folks’ home to reach us- simply find us at dratpack.com or facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
What’s this jazz? A mini episode that’s effectively just a regular episode? Sure, why not! The movie may have come out a few months ago, but the two Brendans and Chris have still been mulling over La La Land a lot. What precisely was it that had the three of them leaving the theater thinking “Meh?” Sit down with the guys of the Why Watch crew as they discuss the characters, the songs, and how the movie works (or doesn’t work) as a musical. How would the three of them make La La Land work better AND save jazz from dying? Listen for the answer to the first question, and scat with us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and @whywatchpodcast on twitter and slipping us some sweet, sweet reviews on iTunes and Stitcher.
We’re gonna watch a bad James Bond / We’re gonna drink some cocktails / We’re gonna fix this movie / We’re gonna discuss this film now / I guess it’s Die Another Day? That’s right, podcast listeners, our movie this month is the 23rd James Bond movie, the woefully incoherent Die Another Day. Leigh, Brendan, Chris and other Brendan kick back with some drinks and talk about the glaring issues at hand: needlessly invisible cars, the unclear politics of North Korea, and the atrocious contributions of Madonna. How will this Bond movie be turned from A View to a Kill to Casino Royale? Listen and find out! As always, you can bond with us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or following us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast or reviewing us on iTunes and Stitcher. THE WHY WATCH CREW WILL RETURN.
Heeya! Pow! Hi-keeba! These are just some of the noises that someone might make in an action movie. To hear the others, please listen to our discussion minisode on the subject! There’s a whole bunch of conversation starters at play here, including acting, story, and what flavors of action make your pectorals flex with excitement. We’ll announce the upcoming movie we’ll be punching up along with TWO kickass drink recipes to accompany it, and friend of the podcast James Mason just might drop in to offer some thoughts! Remember, the best action you can take is liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or following us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast or reviewing us on iTunes and Stitcher. KICK SOUND!
An incomprehensible sci-fi plot, sex as an economic commodity, and an indie sensibility that just won’t quit- take all these ingredients, throw in a winter sangria, and what do you have? Regrettably, you have the 2005 Hal Hartley movie The Girl from Monday. Harkening back to last year’s Bunraku, Leigh puts forth this mopey mess for Brendan and Chris to make sense of. How could this Dutch-angled dystopia have been improved? Listen and find out! Also, we talk about TaleSpin for some reason. You can spin it by reviewing us on iTunes and Stitcher, following us at @whywatchpodcast, and liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
Sometimes, you want to get an episode in the can and so you record it before the Academy Awards. This is one of those times. In lieu of any discussion about that CRAZY Best Picture thing last night, here is the second part of our conversation about romantic comedies. Because really, what else can we talk about for March if not the Oscars? St. Patrick’s Day movies? 45 minutes about Darby O’Gill and the Little People and The Boondocks Saints? PLEASE! Anyhow, enjoy this and enjoy not ever hearing of our upcoming March movie and give us enjoyment in turn by liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or following us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast or showing us some belated Valentines love by giving us reviews on iTunes and Stitcher.
Back in 2011, there was just one question on everyone’s lips: how many dudes have you fucked? Leigh, Brendan, and Chris take on What’s Your Number?, a rom com that deals with the fallout from this very question with their special Valentine, Caitlin Crain. Is the movie actually slut shaming the main character? How much unclothed Chris Evans is too much unclothed Chris Evans? Will Leigh ever stop talking about Just Friends? All of these questions and a delicious hard coffee beverage will be tackled in our Very Special Valentine’s Day episode! As always, be our own special Valentine and post reviews on iTunes and Stitcher, follow us at @whywatchpodcast, and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
Love is in the air and rom coms are in your ears on our latest minisode! Leigh worked long and hard to break down romantic comedies into ten cloyingly-named categories for her, Brendan, and Chris to discuss: from Chance Encounters of the Third Kind to Rom Com Cons. Slip into something more comfortable as we reveal our special Valentine’s Day romantic comedy movie and drink recipe, and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, or follow us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast to spread the love.
The wives of Stepford have a secret, and if that secret is how to remake The Stepford Wives as a dark comedy, they’re certainly not sharing. Nonetheless, Leigh, Brendan, and Chris are as eager as a trophy wife is to clean her kitchen to tackle this half-baked coconut cake of a movie. Topics for the discussion group include a comparison to the original satirical thriller, what the hell happens to the wives, and what do we do with those nice gays who moved to Stepford? Be sure to enjoy your hot spiked tea and come prepared to speak your mind (until your husband tells you to stop). We’ll politely not turn you into a robot, but do politely ask that you post reviews on iTunes and Stitcher, follow us at @whywatchpodcast, and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
It’s a new year, and as is befitting the end of 2016 we are all very tired and / or sick. The entire Why Watch crew used text-to-speech apps to record this very short episode with no additional information other than our January movie and drink recipe. Enjoy the bleak and horrible future represented by this minisode, and rate us on iTunes and Stitcher, follow us @whywatchpodcast, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and we’ll be back in two weeks with our actual voices and an actual episode.
Odds are, at some point you’ve had to sit through at least one amateur production of The Nutcracker. However terrible it may have been, the Why Watch crew will still guarantee that it’s less inept and woefully executed than The Nutcracker in 3D. Curl up with your spiked hot cocoa as we discuss Tim Rice adding lyrics to Tchaikovsky’s score, the casting of Nathan Lane as Albert Einstein as Dr. Drosselmeyer, and the mind-numbingly horrifying inclusion of Nazi allusions. Also, John Turturro in an Andy Warhol wig is the Rat King for some reason. Happy holidays to everyone who tries to comprehend this, and as always gift us with reviews on iTunes / Stitcher, follow us at @whywatchpodcast, and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
With Toys but a fond memory , the Why Watch crew turns to visions of sugar plums and mixed drinks with a discussion on holiday movies. Sit and drink your cocoa as Leigh, Brendan, and Chris talk about what makes a good holiday movie, what their favorites are, and how hard it is to come up with a pun-based drink name. Also as our special present, we tease our Christmas movie spectacular, a movie that Brendan is more excited to see than Rogue One. Please be holly jolly and rate us on iTunes and Stitcher, follow us @whywatchpodcast, and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, which we actually use.
As we approach the closing of the year, we take time to look back on a hotly-anticipated whimsical 1992 Robin Williams comedy. Yes, we are of course referring to the classic holiday (?) movie Toys. Not Aladdin. Sorry for the confusion. Pour yourself a shot and strap on your woozy helmet as the Why Watch crew and recurring special guest Brendan Nystedt tackle the movie’s surprisingly sexual undertones, Yolonda and Steve’s brief reign at the top of MTV’s charts, and Joan Cusack’s wonderful performance as an autistic robot that designs baby doll clothes. Are there any salvageable loose toys in this flea market bargain bin of a movie? Hopefully! Remember, if you cannot bring us comfort, then at least you can bring us good ratings on iTunes / Stitcher, followings at @whywatchpodcast, and glad likings at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
Join us in our latest discussion as Leigh ineloquently asks Brendan and Chris “How you watch?” After making sense of that, the Why Watch crew reflects on viewing habits in various settings and name drop movies or shows we’ve walked out on, fallen asleep to, or couldn’t stop watching. We also announce the penultimate movie of 2016- this time, it’s a movie that Leigh is looking forward to and Chris and Brendan are… well, we’ll worry about THAT in two weeks. As always, please give us some iTunes or Stitcher ratings and hit us up on yer fave social medias @whywatchpodcast and facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
Pop in your glow-in-the-dark plastic fangs and pour yourself a glass of sangria as the Why Watch crew tackles their first Halloween feature! Rarely has the beloved vampire noise “BLEH” been more appropriate than as a descriptor for Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, or at least as far as Brendan and Leigh are concerned. To serve as the oppositonal Van Helsing to their rubbery screaming vampire, Chris and special guest Michael Messina make their best attempts to argue the virtues of the film’s campy (?) weirdness, romantic aspirations, and the casting of human beagle Keanu Reeves. Can these four mortals reassemble this cinematic corpse into something more spooktacular? Wish us a happy Halloween by rating us on iTunes / Stitcher, following us at @whywatchpodcast, and liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.
They’re coming to get you, Barbra! Join Leigh, Brendan, and Chris as they sit in front of the fireplace in an old, abandoned house they broke into and have a scarifying discussion about what makes a movie 2spooky. Listen, if you dare, to the Why Watch crew talk about the difference between supernatural and realistic threats, the effective use of a haunting atmosphere, and the strange beauty of a dead body, like, bent up in a weird way or some shit. Then prepare yourselves for our upcoming Halloween episode and cocktail- perhaps a pina GHOULada? Sex on the SCREECH? BLOODY MARY BUT LIKE THE URBAN LEGEND? There is only one way to learn the shocking answer! Give us a fright at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, stalk us @whywatchpodcast, and send us feedback via ouija board, iTunes, or Stitcher.