Embedded here for your viewing pleasure is exclusive footage from the world premiere of the beloved timeless musical smash, Eliza Rocks. Not since the gang bang sequence in Lars von Trier’s The Idiots has there been such a convoluted and nightmarish cinematic melange. Please… try to enjoy yourselves.
Look, all of us have situations where you just can’t muster up the enthusiasm for something you’re supposed to do. Perhaps you do a half-assed job cleaning and only deign to vacuum the visible floor, leaving dust, detritus, and the rice of a dozen different culture’s delivery food under your coffee table. Perhaps you name your child John or Susan and think that’s good enough. Perhaps you spend your day at work writing about bad movies and drinks for your website instead of doing what you are ostensibly paid to be doing. The point is, sometimes people just don’t care.
Hey, guys! Look at this! Actual content! Well, sort of. Long before we started casting pods, we were watching bad movies and making themed cocktails just because we’re sadists / alcoholics. For our own benefit we decided to keep track of what we watched and what we drank, and since it’s all thematically apt, we’re going to start posting some of these previous creations here as Drink Pieces. These are all movies we have no plans (or desire) to ever revisit, so hopefully none of these drinks will ever turn up again in any capacity. ANYHOW!
Our first Drink Piece comes from way back in April of 2014 when we felt compelled for some reason to watch a movie produced by the WWE (née WWF) entitled No Holds Barred starring future Gawker bankrupter Hulk Hogan. Hogan stretches his tanned veiny acting chops in his starring role as Rip Thomas, a World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion. Rip Torn must resist the contract offers of a sleazy executive (Kurt Fuller, masterfully playing against type) and fight Tiny Lister in a televised wrestling match or something.
Never watch this movie.