8 – Rock of Ages

rock-of-ages

Take one part Glee, stir in a liberal helping of Mamma Mia!, mix with a drunken night at a Los Angeles karaoke bar, and what do you get? Something probably more entertaining than Rock of Ages, Adam Shankman’s ill-fated attempt to make a movie that 12-year-old girls, soccer moms, and heterosexual dudes can all see together. Rock out with the appropriately drunk Why Watch crew as they tackle two dull leads, Tom Cruise’s sexless performance, and the surprisingly effective romance between Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand. At the end of this Journey, will the film be too Poison to improve, or will the crew have everything coming up Guns N’ Roses? Listen to find out, and stick it to the man by rating us on iTunes / Stitcher, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and follow us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast. ROCK ‘N ROLL!

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7.5 – Back to School

How do you do, fellow kids? Grab your packs (both snack and back) and join Leigh, Brendan, and Chris as they travel way back (well, slightly back) in time to discuss teen / high school movies. Topics for today’s lesson will include the reality of the genre, the asexuality of Jughead, and a pitch from Leigh for a youth movie of our very own, as we are hip and happening! Prepare for an even greater trip back through time next time to the year of our births and a very alcohol-heavy themed drink to accompany our Journey (hint!). For extra credit, check us out at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or follow us @whywatchpodcast and grade us on iTunes or Stitcher. Remember to show your work.

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Eliza Rocks

Embedded here for your viewing pleasure is exclusive footage from the world premiere of the beloved timeless musical smash, Eliza Rocks. Not since the gang bang sequence in Lars von Trier’s The Idiots has there been such a convoluted and nightmarish cinematic melange. Please… try to enjoy yourselves.


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7 – Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Go back to school with the Why Watch crew and the unfortunately irrepressible Lola (masterfully brought to life by Lindsay Lohan) in the schizophrenic 2004 teen comedy / musical /  travesty Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen! Join Leigh, Brendan, and Chris as they discuss likability, fashion, and a spectacular musical version of Pygmalion that will have you saying “My Fair Lady? I’ve never heard of such a thing!” on the advice of your legal team while reaching for your three fruity alcoholic drinks. And remember, time may change us but you can trace timelines by liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and following us @whywatchpodcast on twitter.

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Drink Piece – Daredevil

Daredevil

Look, all of us have situations where you just can’t muster up the enthusiasm for something you’re supposed to do. Perhaps you do a half-assed job cleaning and only deign to vacuum the visible floor, leaving dust, detritus, and the rice of a dozen different culture’s delivery food under your coffee table. Perhaps you name your child John or Susan and think that’s good enough. Perhaps you spend your day at work writing about bad movies and drinks for your website instead of doing what you are ostensibly paid to be doing. The point is, sometimes people just don’t care.

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Drink Piece – No Holds Barred

No Holds Barred

Hey, guys! Look at this! Actual content! Well, sort of. Long before we started casting pods, we were watching bad movies and making themed cocktails just because we’re sadists / alcoholics. For our own benefit we decided to keep track of what we watched and what we drank, and since it’s all thematically apt, we’re going to start posting some of these previous creations here as Drink Pieces. These are all movies we have no plans (or desire) to ever revisit, so hopefully none of these drinks will ever turn up again in any capacity. ANYHOW!

Our first Drink Piece comes from way back in April of 2014 when we felt compelled for some reason to watch a movie produced by the WWE (née WWF) entitled No Holds Barred starring future Gawker bankrupter Hulk Hogan. Hogan stretches his tanned veiny acting chops in his starring role as Rip Thomas, a World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion. Rip Torn must resist the contract offers of a sleazy executive (Kurt Fuller, masterfully playing against type) and fight Tiny Lister in a televised wrestling match or something.

Never watch this movie.

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6.5 – Taking a Gap Year

This week, sit in with two-thirds of the Why Watchers (thoughts and prayers to the absent Chris) as they see if they have the same dynamic while functioning at 66%! Banter with Brendan and Leigh as they muse about the gaps in their personal film histories and why they don’t really care about seeing Quentin Tarantino movies. A light minisode gives way to an even lighter and frothier movie to come, so get your martini glasses ready and your gag reflexes suppressed! Consider giving us some ratings on iTunes and Stitcher, follower our sad little twitter account @whywatchpodcast, and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.

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6 – Tomorrowland

Tomorrowland

What a bleak and horrible present we live in! Whatever happened to the optimistic vision of the future the Disney company promised us back in the 1950s? Well, very small parts of it are alive but not necessarily well in Brad Bird’s 2015 movie Tomorrowland. Join all of us at Why Watch and our special guest Brendan Nystedt as we discuss the evils of pessimism, the confusing history of Tomorrowland, and that whole objectivism thing that always shows up with Brad Bird’s movies. Also, make our own futures a little brighter and follow us @whywatchpodcast on twitter and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.

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5.5 – Upvote the Women

This week the Why Watch crew gets down and dirty (ew, not like that) with women in movies. Join as we talk about the good, the bad, and the future of women in film. And who knows, as we reveal our next movie, that future might be here sooner than we think… TOMORROW, perhaps? As always, we very politely ask that you please rate us on iTunes or Stitcher, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, follow us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast, and support the talented ladies who work in the film industry.

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5 – Southland Tales

Southland Tales

Celebrate the birth of America with the most confusing and apocalyptic vision of its end! Richard Kelly’s sprawling 2006 saga Southland Tales is perhaps the most bizarre and challenging film the Why Watch crew has seen so far, but we stayed up until 1 AM diagramming it on a big white board just so we could make sense of it all. If you enjoy discussions of morality, Biblical allusions, and SNL actors doing things you might not expect SNL actors to do, then this is the episode for you! If you have time on your day off, rate us on iTunes or Stitcher, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, follow us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast, and consider watching some classic July 4th films like The Music Man or The Warriors!

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4.5 – The Occasional Merit of Remakes

Ugh, those HOLLYWOOD HACKS can’t stop with these remakes, are we right? Leigh, Brendan, and Chris get together over drinks this week to discuss the nature of remakes and put forward those that we think have different sorts of worth. We also reveal the movie chosen to celebrate America for our Fourth of July extravaganza (hint: it is the craziest movie we have seen in a very long time) and put forth yet another drink recipe for your viewing pleasure. If you like what we do, rate us on iTunes or Stitcher, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, follow us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast, and give us hugs if you see any of us in person.

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4 – Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack the Giant Slayer

This week the Why Watch crew is joined by an old friend and guest from the west Meghan Coyne as we tackle Jack the Giant Slayer, a film from 2013 featuring CGI from 1993. Our hang up with dual protagonists comes back with a vengeance in this almost-perfect execution of that Holy Grail. Speaking of holy, monks worship beanstalks?! Also, Albion is England?! Listen to find out, or more likely be just as confused as we are. Don’t forget to follow us @whywatchpodcast on Twitter and at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast on Facebook.

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3.5 – Emotional Commotion

Do you fear change? Well, apparently Leigh, Brendan, and Chris are at least okay with it, as they decide to try something slightly different with this mini episode. After introducing what our new movie will be, Leigh prompts a discussion about how movies make you feel certain emotions and whether or not this means a movie is doing something well. Join us as we attempt to answer this impromptu question and provide a drink recipe with actual proportions for once. As always, find us @whywatchpodcast on Twitter and at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and give us love / grief.

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3 – Bunraku

Bunraku

In our third episode, we tackle the big questions, like “What went wrong with Bunraku?” and “Why did you make us sit through Bunraku?” and “What is this movie you keep calling Bunraku?” Listen to Leigh defend this East meets West martial arts mash-up singlehandedly over the voices of Brendan, Chris, and our special guest Matt Zazzarino. Also included: two drinks to help you get through the movie and a very misleading opening. Also consider stalking us @whywatchpodcast on Twitter and at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast on Facebook.

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2.5 – Third Impressions

This mini episode introduces a bad movie you’ve probably never heard of, despite featuring a large cast of names you probably have heard of. To help get us through our next movie, we’ll provide the recipes for two drinks, one for each main character. Trust us, you should drink both before you attempt a viewing. As always, you can also find us @whywatchpodcast on Twitter, facebook.com/whywatchpodcast on Facebook, and on our website dratpack.com if you’re into pictures of drinks and stuff.

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2 – Hook

Hook

We return from the depths of 1990s nostalgia to discuss Hook, the 1991 Steven Spielberg “classic.” Be prepared for endless discussions about childhood, flights of fancy, and why this movie does neither well. Cap it off with a bunch of twenty-somethings trying to fix a movie that their entire generation seems to have a blind spot for, and baby, you got yourself our second episode. Additionally, you can follow us @whywatchpodcast on Twitter and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast like the 90s kid you are.

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1.5 – Let’s Try This Again

On our second mini episode, we reveal our next scheduled movie / drink and discuss Spiked Seltzer, 90s nostalgia, and the untimely death of the screwball comedy genre. Join us again in two weeks for our next full-length episode, and please stalk on social media (@whywatchpodcast on Twitter or facebook.com/whywatchpodcast). Without constant validation, we will wither and die.

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1 – The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger

Our premiere episode attempts to tackle the wildly uneven 2013 movie The Lone Ranger. Can Brendan, Leigh, and Chris turn this $225 million study in color-blind casting into something more? Join us as we discuss whitewashing, fantastic action sequences, and the most unsettling framing device from any movie of this millennium. Also, we’re a little buzzed from the drinks. Be gentle, and check us out at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and on Twitter at @whywatchpodcast.

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0 – Pilots and Premises

Welcome to Why Did We Watch This! Every month, we’ll be asking ourselves that very question as we watch terrible, troubled, and turbid movies and ponder how they could have been saved. Join Leigh Delahanty, Brendan Drischler, and Chris Revelle as we desperately strive to be entertaining while going through the business of explaining our format and introducing our first Why Did We Watch This movie! If you like what we’re doing, please rate us on iTunes or Stitcher, follow us on Twitter @whywatchpodcast, or like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast.

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